“As if you were on fire from within.
The moon lives in the lining of your skin.”
– Pablo Neruda
The twist of the rope against your skin. The beauty of the knots spanning your body. The light restriction of your movements amid the teasing texture of natural fibres. The unquestioning trust you place in your partner as your surrender yourself to your senses. This is the very essence of Shibari.
The ancient art of Shibari is a sensual experience for all partners involved. This unique form of artistic Japanese rope bondage, practised for centuries, is undergoing a resurgence as an intimate connection for couples who wish to deepen their union.
What is Shibari and how can it enhance relationship health?
Shibari is a Japanese word that literally means tying. In Japan it is also known Kinbaku. Shibari, however, is more than a bondage experience – it’s an aesthetic art form where emphasis is placed on how the ropes are tied and the patterns they make on the body.
What you receive from Shibari depends on your motive and the intention behind your practice. For some, Shibari provides a heightened arousal before sex, deepening the intimate connection with their chosen partner. For others, rope play offers a variety of additional benefits, such as a strengthened body image, creative stimulation, sensitivity, empathy and a connection that goes beyond the physical. Some practitioners report a sense of otherworldliness, with the increase of endorphins and other hormones in the body caused by Shibari leading to a state of so-called “sub-space”.
How to get started with Shibari
Shibari practitioners select ropes made from natural fibres, such as jute and hemp. Though cotton is a good option for beginners. Before practising, participants are advised to familiarise themselves with the theory behind Shibari, including which knots to use and how; which ropes and materials are suitable; and what other equipment is required. Medical scissors or rescue cutters are mandatory to have on hand.
Practitioners should also agree on limits before starting a session of Shibari, including safety words that allow you to slow down or stop proceedings. Shibari isn’t meant to be overly painful. If there is pain, it should be enjoyable. The session should end if the sensations become uncomfortable.
Setting boundaries in Shibari
Shibari is considered a RACK activity — Risk Aware Consensual Kink — during which practitioners consciously agree to participate. Each session should be approached with full mindfulness, with the server or rigger paying maximum attention to the receiver’s needs. Because Shibari is about the experience rather than physical outcomes, there is plenty of room for individual creative interpretation.
In conclusion
There are many reasons to practise Shibari, with sexual pleasure being just one of them. Arousal may also come from the experience of being tied, from a certain amount of pain or the restriction of movement, and from the deep connection that arises from the encounter. For the rigger, gratification lies in the use of ropes to create sensual patterns that highlight and complement the receiver’s form, as well as the sense of trust built during the practice, and witnessing and creating arousal.
An introductory session to Shibari, led by experts, may be included in HedonX experiences, depending on the interests and curiosities of those booking our retreats.
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